How to make friends at university!
16:13
Ahoy there beauties, so i'm guessing if you're wanting to read this post you are probably a shy person that's starting at university and are nervous about being able to make friends, well don't be :)
It's a fact that a lot of people when they are going in to a new situation feel nervous or scared and this is completely normal, however just because we may get scared by the thoughts of having to make new friends it shouldn't stop us from actually doing so.
Now, before I went to university I had a group of close friends that I have been close to/known for many years, we were at school and then also college together and so I'd never really been thrown into a situation where there would be nobody I knew to fall back on and so the prospect of this happening at university scared me, a lot!
One night before starting at university, I was sat having a chat with my Dad telling him about my worries of not being able to make friends and he gave me some tips which I want to now share with you as it helped me make some amazing friends in my first term at uni and if it helps at least one of you reading this then it'll be worth it.
Now this piece of advise is the one thing that helped me calm my nerves before heading off to university and that is everyone is in the same boat as you, it sounds so cliché but it is so true. 99% of people that are heading to live at university are in the exact same position as you and probably thinking and worrying about the exact same things. Nobody, bar the few exceptions, will know each other at university and everyone will be from all different places and have totally different lifestyles, everyone will be wanting to make friends. The beauty of this is that there aren't going to be any cliques of people that are already best of friends that you feel like you can't be a part of, everyone will be willing to talk to you and as long as you're nice and kind to them, they'll want to be your friend. Something that is also really nice about nobody knowing you is that you can be whoever you want to be, at university you can reinvent yourself to be whatever kind of person you want to be. Now for me, I come from a very small village and I have gone to school/college/lived around and worked with the same people all of my life, so those people have an opinion and an image of you in their minds because they've known you for so long, now for me that would probably be a person that works hard in school, maybe some think I'm boring and quiet etc. However, when I went to uni I decided I didn't want to be perceived like this any more and so even though on the inside I was literally about to have a coronary just thinking about approaching people, on the outside I slapped a smile on my face and made sure I introduced myself to everyone that I saw because in my head I just kept repeating the fact that they don't know you're shy, they will only see what you want them to see and I wanted people to see me as fun and happy, someone you'd want to be friends with.
- If you're somebody that finds it hard to go in to a room of people and talk to them, try to be the first one to move in to your accommodation as this means that you're not walking in to the unknown you'll have time to familiarise yourself with your new home and you can then be the friendly face that greets your new house-mates when they have to come through the door, instantly making a good impression.
- When you meet your new house-mates for the first time make a real effort to be friendly and smiley, even if secretly you're that nervous you feel like you're about too pee your pants/vomit all over yourself and them, try to hold that under control and ask them if they need any help or if they'd like a cup of tea. Your house-mates are the people you're going to be spending the majority of your time with and going out with for the whole of fresher's week, they're the people you want to become close with.
- Join a club/society in the first week or so of university, now this is something that fresher's reps etc. will say to you repeatedly and yes it will start to sound like a broken record, however they are really spouting truth when they say it, I began trials for the cheerleading squad at my university, I didn't get in (which in all honesty I didn't expect to) but I tried and in the meantime I made a couple of really good friends with the girls who were in my stunt groups, even if you don't think you'll get in to the actually sport society or whatever go along to the trials because they're such a good way to meet other people with similar interests to you.
- Don't sit in your room with the door closed, sit in the communal area where you can be involved with everyone else and keep your bedroom door open if you're sat in your bedroom so that people will see you and strike up conversation.
- Attempt to make conversation with the people on your course, if they're doing the same course there's a high chance that you have things in common.
- Be someone that's willing to have a good time, now that doesn't mean you have to go out to nightclubs get absolutely steaming and end up in a gutter somewhere with sick all down your dress, it just means that if the freshers reps are taking everyone to a club, try to go so you can mingle, you don't have to drink you can just dance with your new house mates and have a good time. Also, if you're not one for clubbing then there's usually pre-drinks in the accommodation before the clubs so just go mingle with your fellow residences before they go out.
- Include people, I was the person in my halls that went around asking everyone if they were going out and if they said no, in a nice manner, I would persuade them to. Try to suggest things such as drinks in your kitchen before going out so you can all chat or suggest that the girls all get ready in one room so that everyone's interacting with each other, it really helps everyone feel at home.
- Similarly to the last one if this is working for you and you feel like you're making friends, make sure you include the people that maybe do feel homesick and alone or haven't been able to make some friends yet, in my flat there were two people a boy and a girl who both found adjusting to uni life particularly hard and so on the boy's first night, seeing as I had already been there a couple of days and had made friends, I made an effort to befriend him and then introduce him to the people that I knew. The girl remained very secluded for a week or so and never came out with us, unbeknown to us she was really homesick and would cry all the time because she was so far away from her home and her friends, sometimes when people feel like this it takes extra effort to include them because they feel so down that they don't want to go out but I made an effort to every single night knock on her door and ask her to come out with us that eventually she agreed and all night I made sure she was having a good time, which she was. That girl is now one of my best friends and absolutely loves university and both of them have since said to me that they really appreciated it and are now my really good friends, so not only does it help them but you also make yourself more friends.
I thought I'd throw in a couple of photos of my best friends from university, my first term has just finished and I was so sad to leave them all but it just goes to show if you really try it pays off.
I hope this helps!
Lots of Love
Hayley
xxx
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